2013-08-30

Chapter.02

Time passes slowly when you are alone , you've got nothing to do but to focus on daily routine , on studying hard and try not to be disappointing , not in your grades at least , then you make it ... you succeed and accomplish your dream in getting first place in your district , you can finally dump the old schools with it's dump student that are not in your league . you were promised to be allowed to enter middle school in an Elite school a bit far from home but all the same as good , you work hard and you forget about other dreams , you enter with head held high and take an exam that'm more difficult , you succeed again and you know that from 1000 pupil you are among the 200 that actually passed , you feel happiness that was never in your reach ... and then and in the same moment your father tell you " you can't go to that school , they required money from us and we can't afford it , apparently this year they are renovating , you'll just have to go to the public high school " ... In that moment u feel useless , abandoned , hopeless  you cry , u scream and u fight with all your might , your mind is about to explode with anger and sadness , you become hysterical and u keep laughing through your tears , lock your self in your room and cry endlessly.. Life is cruel , Life isn't beautiful , u lose the faith that was held in your heart ...  
                                          



                                       
   

In This Beautiful Cruel World ...


Your dream is where your heart is

It’s something more fragile than life itself
No matter how many times you throw it away, you still find it
So rest in peace now
Your wish is violated by your pulsing urge
and as much as you forget about it, you recall it again
In this beautiful and cruel world
We only ask “why” we’re still alive…
Ah, what are we going to protect
with our strength and weakness? If reason
no longer exists

That sky looks sad


Ashes and mirages rise up
You freeze in warm words
So rest in secret now
Your grief is hidden by fantasies sticking to you
and as much as it tears apart, it joins back together again

In this beautiful and cruel world
We only beg for death to “wait”…
Ah, we’re flightless weathercocks
We don’t know if the truth
is more beautiful than lies or not

If we are songs
Then we’ll raise the flags to that wind
and just send hope to someone
without hesitation, if only…
In this beautiful and cruel world
We only ask “why” we’re still alive…
Ah, what are we going to protect
with our strength and weakness? If reason
no longer exists 

2013-08-28

chapter .01

Spending the first years of life alone is hard enough, family isnt the only thing a kid needs ... a child needs   friends ... a naive kid was me... I believed the lies of so many fake-friends and I was punished for it .. so  many lied about be-friending me in the name of being  famous with the teacher since i was an elite student boy was i happy even with those fake friends but then swore of friendship after i found out the lies and the deceiving ...no way was i gonna make another friend ....i spent summers crying my eyes out cause i didnt have any friends ... i was the first child to a big family with boys as cousins and was i a tom-boy playing all around with the boys of my     neighborhood .... no girls playing with dolls how many were stolen ?? how many have i lost ?? girls didnt like me at all, funny though i didnt mind just focused on my studies , always making away a new adventure , searching around school grounds , for strange things , escaped home to a relative house once but in the intention of visiting them , and ended up being beaten and scolded   , i cried that day saying no one cares i have no  friends so why am i alive tell me    ......

2013-08-27

Diaries of friendship

                                              .....The Diaries Of Me
 :Introduction
what one person can make a difference for the existence of others .... it can change hell into heaven ... it can bring the best of u ... it can rise the will to live in this damned universe ... one event changed my life ... one little detail maid me realize that maybe life is worth living ... 
    to my best friend who maid me feel alive for one horrible decade...